Thanks Instapunk.
THE AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT
Washington, DC - Congress is considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many Americans.
The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real ambition or skills...
'Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,' said California Senator Barbara Boxer.
'We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing.'
In a Capitol Hill press conference, House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid pointed to the success of the Transportation Security Administration, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance.
Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack any job skills, making this agency the single largest U. S. employer of Persons of Inability. Private-sector industries with good records of non-discrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement 'warehouse' stores (65%).
At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons of Inability (63%).
Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million 'middle man' positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.
Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given so as to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees.
The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability into middle-management positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.
Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, 'Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?'
'As a Non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them,' said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, Michigan, due to her inability to remember righty tighty, lefty loosey. 'This new law should be real good for people like me,' Gertz added.
With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Said Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL): 'As a Senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so.'
ELOI Alert: File this under "YGTBSM"
Teacher placed on leave for questionable Facebook posting
http://www.wkowtv.com/Global/story.asp?S=9781795&nav=menu1362_10
You know what? Present-day parents, and especially modern teachers and media types never cease to amaze me with just their....Eloi-like outlook on things. The fact that people, anywhere, are "surprised" by acts of violence, with that stupid, vacant puppy-dog look that says "What is this 'violence' of which you speak?" God Almighty! (this little bit was not inspired so much by the story itself, but by the station editor's blog entry and the perspective of some of the parents). I call people like this the "first to be eaten" when XYZ disaster (Posleen, Zombies, whatever) happens, because that's what their mentality has made them perfect for.
Lt Col Dave Grossman wrote a book recently called "On Killing" and he's also one of the guys behind the "Sheep, Sheepdogs and Wolves" meme that runs around the net. I've bought his book but haven't started reading it yet, but I think I already disagree with his fundamental thesis - I think EVERY human being walking the planet, or the vast majority at least, has it in them to kill, or commit serious acts of violence given the right motivation and set of circumstances. Even the Eloi-parents mentioned in the story, I'm willing to bet, would go to ANY lengths necessary to protect the lives of their kids, and I'm willing to be the moms would be willing to commit acts 10 X WORSE than anything the dads could come up with, if push came to shove.
Now if you want to argue that the photo, with the teacher sighting up the camera, is a little over the top, I think that's just arguing semantics, something else that the three groups I mentioned in the intro seem really good at.
Here’s something else: I see this story as somewhat similar to this one.
And here’s the worst part. This will NOT change unless people like the woman in the original story, or Carol Thatcher in the second one, FIGHT BACK. As long as they keep taking the easy way out – the “it’s not worth it” approach to fighting back, it’s going to get worse, and worse.
I’ve had it with the damn Eloi running the show. It’s why I mean it, if I ever have children of my own, I’m homeschooling them, or at least sending them to a private school, Catholic or otherwise, that ain’t “ate up” like this.
Jeez Louise on a Sunday.
And if I seem disrespectful towards parents or what have you, bite me. Any parent who teaches their child to be a drone, not even capable of defending themself or naive enough to think they can kumbaya their way out of every situation is a failure. Teachers who do the same are grossly negligent in my book too.
Posted by Darth MOGS on Sunday, February 08, 2009 at 08:45 in America, Basic Rant, Choices, Comments, Current Affairs, Education, Idiots, Laws We Don't Need, Moonbat Watch, MSM, MSM Watch, THIS JUST IN! | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)
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