The Child Molester And The Church

Those of us who call ourselves Christians, through Christ's atonement and sacrifice, believe that for whatever sins you commit, forgiveness and redemption are available and that is a pillar of our faith.  Indeed, in our scriptures, we are taught to forgive those who trespass against us and at the same time, beg forgiveness for the trespasses we commit.  It's all there in the prayer that Jesus taught us to pray.

9 After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
10 Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.
11 Give us this day our daily bread.
12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.
14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Matt 6:9-15 kjv

There you have it in Jesus' own words.  Now comes the problem.

What if a twice convicted child molester shows up at the church door and asks to attend?  Exactly how do we, as people who profess the Christian doctrine of forgiveness and love, handle this situation?  The Lord also warns us against harming children and we would certainly be complicit in harming a child if we allow a child molester to walk free among us in our house of worship and if he preyed upon one of them.  How do we, as a people of faith and committed to forgiving those who commit sin, reconcile our need to protect our children against our commitment to obeying our God and allow the sinner to worship?

A Lutheran Church in Reno is facing that conundrum.

RENO, Nev. — A Lutheran congregation is grappling with how to deal with a convicted sex offender who says his church attendance is an important step toward rehabilitation.

Clergy and members at Lutheran Church of the Good Shepherd say they're in a quandary over how to protect their children while following in Christ's footsteps and welcoming a stranger.

"Clearly, we are called to love," said the Rev. Rebecca Schlatter, associate pastor. "But is it safe to love this particular person up close?"

Indeed, this presents a real problem to the Church.  We are commanded to love and forgive, but can we really do that?  How do we define forgiveness?  How do we offer love and support to those seeking the redemption that Christ offers and the Church administers when the evidence is that even those with the best of intentions are probably ticking time bombs likely to re-offend?

The liberal Unitarian Universalists actually have a checklist and list of rules that known past offenders must sign.  The Lutheran Church in the article also came up with their own seventeen point agreement to outline their response to the problem:

The church has offered a covenant of 17 conditions to Calvin Brugge, who says he will sign it. Among other restrictions, he can only attend the 7:30 a.m. Sunday service, and he's barred from using the restroom or attending church-sponsored functions that include children.

Plans call for a support team to meet with him regularly and an accountability team to observe him while he's on church property.

I believe churches should have a plan in place to deal with this reality, even small local or independent congregations. 

I actually have some experience with this particular problem.  Several years ago in the LDS Church, I was in charge of the spiritual welfare of most of the men in our congregation or ward.  I was the Elders Quorum President.  The Bishop (pastor) came to me one Sunday and asked me to accompany him to the Stake (diocese)  President's office where I met Jim (not his real name).  Jim was in his thirties and a convicted child molester just out of prison.  The deal that we worked out with Jim was similar to the deal that the Reno Lutheran Church worked out.  Specifically, he could attend and stay as long as he remained in my sight or the sight of my one of my two assistants.  He was not allowed to attend functions where children were the focus.  If he attended a function, I (or one of my assistants)  had to also be in attendance and he had to remain in our sight.  He was allowed to use the restroom, but only after we checked to make sure no children were in it and we would stand guard outside to make sure no child entered. 

I visited or called him several times a month.  I was not required to do that, but I felt if he was to ever have a chance, he had to know he had support.  I even invited him into my home a few times for dinner.  I also included other adults for two reasons.  First, so they could meet him and he could meet other people and second as an extra set of eyes.  They also knew he would be present.

To be honest, this was difficult for me.  I have no use for sexual predators of any sort.  It's about as heinous of a crime as you can commit.  On the other hand, I was forced to face my own beliefs.  I either believed in repentance and redemption, or I didn't.  And if I didn't, then did I believe in Christ's mission at all?  I thought long and hard and spent more than a few hours on my knees wrestling with this and in the end, decided that if I truly believed in the miracle of forgiveness, then it was up to me to do all that I could to help my fallen brother.  Truly, this was one of the most difficult challenges to my faith I ever encountered.

My only problem, and it is one I did not have to resolve because we moved away a few months later, is at what point do we trust an individual with this kind of past or can an individual like this ever be trusted?  I have no answer to that question.  I don't think you can truly ever let your guard down.

VW

Comments

[Kelly]

Great story. It's obviously an issue that you struggled with. I'm an athiest so I don't have to deal with the bible telling me to forgive. It is a difficult issue however and one I am not good at. I tend to hold a grudge and would not be able to forgive this type of crime - I would not be able to trust him. Ever. These molesters are not ever cured - some may learn to manage their desires - but I don't want myself or my kid to be around when they fall off the wagon. I admire that you and your church were able to walk the walk - so few do.

[BobF]

At the moment I can only think of one verse of scripture which comes to mind.

Romans 16:17 - Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them

[canuckistani]

Wow, tough call. I guess he just has to be monitored like you and the church did.

[MOGS]

In my line of work we have two sayings:

1) In God we trust, all others we monitor

2) Trust, but verify

Perhaps "forgive, but never forget" is the right call?

[Violence Worker]

This is perhaps the hardest thing. If a convicted murderer showed up at the church door, no one would be too worried. After all, he is there seeking forgivenesss, right. Most murderers are not serial killers and likely not to reoffend.

MOGS, I thought of the exact same thing as I wrote that piece. I certainly don't have a better answer.

Bob, It's one thing to shun the sin, but are we not taught to love the sinner?

VW

[BobF]

VW...I've been taught that in church for years, hate the sin but love the sinner, and I agree. But to what point do we stop loving and start hating?

Mal 1:2 - I have loved you, saith the LORD. Yet ye say, Wherein hast thou loved us? Was not Esau Jacob's brother? saith the LORD: yet I loved Jacob,

Rom 9:13 - As it is written, Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated.

I think Mogs has the best point. But, we have to remember, if this "reformed" molester ever gets hold of another child, the MSM will crucify your church and its ministers for allowing a known molester in your midsts. They'll also do the same if you don't let him in, so your between a rock and a hard spot.

[MOGS]

It all comes down to this:

What do we truly believe about redemption, and trust? Both are hard to earn, and harder to keep...

But never, ever take your eye off him.

[Maureen]

Hate the sin, but love the sinner... oh, REALLY?!? Yes, a new commandment we are given, to love one another, BUT... how do you reconcile doing THAT with, say, Psalm 5:5, where David tells us that God actually hates "all doers of iniquity"? In 1 Cor 5:9, it is crystal clear: we are NOT to associate with "sexually immoral people."