It’s that time of year again when we all think about the future with a new year just about to make its appearance. I’m going to read my tea cards, my tarot leaves, and then throw a bunch of sticks on top of the mess and see what the future holds. If all else fails, I’ll go look into my acrylic bowling ball.
Come back in 2007 and see how accurate of a prognosticator I am.
1. April 7th, 2006 –The ACLU sued on behalf of Al Qaida to let them commit a terrorist act. At the news conference at the NYC court house, ACLU Spokesthing Beulah Mousedrab said that blowing up buildings, even if they are occupied, is legitimate political speech and that it’s just another example of how the Bushitler regime is stifling dissent. The Reverend Jesse Jackson was there, looking for some TV time, also sided with Al Qaida. He said, “It was in Watts and Detroit’s 12th street that the civil rights movement gained its voice, Al Qaida should be allowed to have theirs heard. Mayor Bloomberg piddled on himself.
2. June 20th, 2006 – Senator Edward Kennedy was found dead in the Senate chamber today. Apparently he’d been there over a week before anyone noticed. Senator Kerry, in a statement released from his office said. “Senator Kennedy was a great statesman and now, finally, I get to be senior senator! The cause and time of death was not immediately known. The chief janitor told CNN, “He could have been dead for days. He was naturally bloated and smelled bad.” Senator Clinton immediately blamed President Bush for inadequate national health care. She said that he had the Republicans take out language in the Defense appropriations bill that would have given each Senator their own private doctor on their staff.
3. July 7th, 2006 – A large earthquake struck the University of California Berkeley Area two weeks ago. The entire campus disappeared. Someone finally noticed they were gone. President Bush and global warming were blamed for the disappearance.
4. August 2nd, 2006 – The last group of insurgents surrendered in Iraq. Howard Dean, Chairman of the DNC was outraged. He said in a speech at the Washington DC Press Club that the US should have surrendered months ago. He screamed, “The insurgents should go to Basra, then to Tikrit, then to Falluja, and finally Mosul – YEEEEEAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!”
5. November 3rd, 2006 – The Democrats were blaming the news media for not getting their message out. They were stinging from a loss of 13 seats in the House and 4 Seats in the Senate. Senator Clinton, who easily won re-election in New York said, “All the news media would focus on was the things Chairman Dean said. The Bush/Rove machine effectively shut down debate when they got Dean elected to the DNC Chairmanship.” Barbara Boxer cried.
6. December 12th, 2006 – The ACLU filed suit to ban Christianity. Their Spokething, Beulah Mousedrab, said at the Press Conference that they were finally getting at the root cause of Christmas. “If we get rid of the Christians, we’ll never have to face the horror of another Christmas tree.”
Well there ya have it -- My predictions for 2006!
Happy New Year!!!!
VW
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